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There is frequent mention over the Internet these days about placing children in adoptive homes.Dave Thomas, the founder of Wendy's was always saying, "all children deserve a loving, permanent home". I do agree but it always seemed to me that Dave did not care about the children beyond that. It is like he never gave thought to the children becoming adults and being curious about their origins or possibly needing to know birth family medical history. Now that Dave is deceased his Foundation seems to be continuing on just as he. I found Dave to be pathetic and the same goes for his Foundation. Please don't take me as a person that does not think it important for children in foster care to be placed in homes. I strongly believe in it. But why can't those with money like Dave's Foundation be helpful with trying to get state laws changed so these children as adults will have access to their original birth certificate?Awareness needs to be raised that in the majority of the states adopted adults are not treated like first-class citizens. Illinois is in this category. I would be willing to bet that there will be little to no media coverage about this anytime during November. Many are not aware that we adopted adults born in IL are denied access to our original birth certificate. It could be easier to pull a tooth from a wild animal than to get the news media to help with spreading the word.Thirty years ago and perhaps longer than that the triad was referred to. The triad was adoptees, birth parents and adoptive parents. Some where along the way since then adoptees were misplaced. It seems that the only ones that might refer to the triad now are those who were familiar with the term long ago. The forgotten adoptee has become very common and many legislators see no need to change the adoption laws. But we can't give up with educating them. We must continue with the adoption reform movement.Those searching who have not registered with International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR) should do so no matter how little information they might have. For more information please see their website at www.isrr.net. No other registry is affiliated with them. If you complete one of ISRR's registration forms that someone else has distributed, any donation should go directly to ISRR.
The search for my birth family took over 20 years and it was unfortunate that my birth mother died from breast cancer during that time. I would have loved to have gotten to know her. I do cherish hearing memories shared by my siblings and other family members.So far I've been fortunate but a benign lumpectomy was quite scary and that was even before I knew my birth mother was deceased. I can't help but feel that taking Raloxifine for five years has been beneficial. I can not stress enough the importance of mammograms. Women at high risk should talk to their physician about prevention.Susan G. Komen For The Cure is a great organization for learning more about breast cancer and how you might be of help in raising awareness.
There have to be alot of emotions to deal with when at the age of 68 you learn that you were adopted as an infant. Did Rick's father "spill the beans" so that he might have closure from the long kept secret or did he forget that Rick did not know? It is hard to say when you consider his father is 100 years old.
Last January when Rick called me, I became determined to help him. He was not only a Chicago adoptee like myself but my heart went out to him to learn of his adoption at a late stage in his life. Anita Field and I are the co-founders of IL Open plus we are good friends. So we have been putting our heads together in order to try to help Rick.
Rick's petition to open his adoption records was denied. I was so angry when I learned of this because I felt that good cause was shown. I'll always suspect that Judge Patrick McGann (Cook Co.) did not even bother to read Rick's petition. Instead he probably instructed office personnel to get out one of the popular denial forms for him to sign. Otherwise I do believe the Judge would have ruled in favor of Rick having copies of his adoption documents.
Not long after receiving the denial Rick received a copy of his final decree of adoption with his birth name and that of his birth mother's whited out. Rick, his wife, Anita and I all four tried to determine the length of names that had been whited out. It was pretty much anyone's guess. Then while Anita was reviewing the IL adoption laws she discovered a provision where Rick's father could request the final decree of adoption since he was a petitioner. We wondered if white out would be used or not. But to pay a $9 fee to Cook County was definitely worth a try in case names would not be whited out. The letter did have to be notorized and a copy of Rick's father's ID enclosed. Thank the Lord he was able to sign the letter! It was not long at all when the decree arrived with no names whited out. Now Rick knows his name at birth and that of his birth mother's!
But isn't there something wrong with this picture? Rick is 69 years old and a veteran but yet he needed his daddy's permission to know his birth name and that of his birth mother's.
When will IL adoption laws provide for adopted adults to be treated like grown ups instead of little children? We must continue to fight for changes in the laws. Please don't leave it up to your neighbor to do. Everyone is needed and no matter how busy anyone is they can take time to contact legislators. On IL Open's website there are links leading to contact informaton for legislators. Here too is information about how to obtain your final decree of adoption if you are fortunate enough to have an adoptive parent still living. Don't delay with doing this because IL legislators are known for making changes to help prevent adopted adults from learning any identifying information about their birth mother.
I've been around the Internet adoption community for years. I've always found it unfortunate that many who have been reunited will never be heard from again. Perhaps some think there is no need to stick around. But there is because the adoption reform movement could be a long ways from being completed.
Some do very little searching themselves and I find that unfortunate since it can help prepare for the reunion. Perhaps this group feel that they can not be of help to others searching. Perhaps they are not interested in if anyone else finds birth family. I've known adoptees who get what they want and could care less about others.
Reunions are an emotional roller coaster ride. Probably not just for the adoptee but for all involved. I do know first-hand what an overwhelming feeling it is to be reunited with birth family members. There are of course other feelings to deal with. When birth parents are found deceased as mine were, there are questions that are left unanswered. Although I've had family members share what they know they have not been able to answer all my questions.
For many years now I've been an advocate for open records and I sincerely hope that no medical problem will ever prevent me from continuing. Although I'm not nearly as involved with helping others search as I once was my work on earth is not completed as far as the adoption reform movement goes. It does not matter that I have my original birth certificate (OBC) and I've been reunited. I want all adoptees to have their OBC. I want those who want to be reunited with birth family. I'm not alone because there are many others fighting for the cause and some are like me in having their OBC and been reunited.
Some who have been reunited will suddenly disappear. So it is important to remind those searching to stick around. They might need a break to deal with so many emotions, perhaps to travel to meet birth family and time to get to know those they have been separated from. But it is important to get the message out that everyone is needed to fight for all adopted adults to have access to their OBC. Please do your part!
It was 1976 when I started my own search for birth family. Searches were not as popular then as today. A petition asking a judge to open my records was not time consuming. I received a reply within a short time stating to make an appointment to resolve the matter in the judge's chambers. I was to bring along a photo ID plus a statement from my physician that there was a medical need. My adoptive mother accompanied me to the appointment. There was no more information in my file than I already knew. However there was a name jotted down on the outside of the file. To this day I don't know if that person was a social worker or someone else who had called to inquire about the status of my adoption. The judge leaned against the latter. My adoptive mother had never heard of the woman and I've never been able to track her down. Perhaps it was a fictitious name. Many of my birth family members had passed away by the time my search was completed so this name on the outside of my file will most likely always remain a mystery.
In 1990 the Illinois Confidential Intermediary service was started. It is a program of the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services, delivered by Midwest Adoption Center. I don't know when the website (www.ci-illinois.org) was last updated. It includes a chart for the past two years but just which two years? Anyway, the chart shows that 63% agreed to contact, 20% relative deceased, 10% declined participation and 4% not located. BUT it does not state on what number these percentages are based on. To anyone not thinking too clearly this chart looks good. But I'm sure that is how Midwest Adoption Center wants it. They are in business! They seem to be very active in promoting any bill sponsored by State Representative Sara Feigenholtz (D) 12th District. Yes, that district and the Midwest Adoption Center are in the Chicago area. It certainly raises questions in my mind!
How difficult is it for an IL adoptee to get a court order to open their file? It could be easier to get away from an alligator or whale. Just recently when an adoptee received a letter of denial from a Cook County judge, it was highly questionable if his petition was even read from start to end. It seems more likely that the judge glanced at it and then instructed his secretary to pull out a form letter referring the adoptee to the Confidential Intermediary service. There is no doubt in my mind about this particular adoptee showing good cause and his case is unique, no question about it.
It sure seems obvious to me that there are people in Illinois who have a vested interest in keeping the Confidential Intermediary service intact. It makes it difficult to get a clean bill sponsored and would make it even more difficult to get it passed into law.
What can we do about it? Educating the public and those in official capacities would not do any harm. In order for there to be change people must speak out. Please don't sit back and think there are individuals and organizations taking care of adoption reform. The more who are involved, the better. Please do your part and don't leave it up to someone else.A civil right should be restored to IL adopted adults in that they should have access to their original birth certificate, just as those who have not been adopted do. Anything less is not acceptable. The Confidential Intermediary service MUST go and the sooner the better.
In my previous post I failed to include a link for those who would like to see pictures:www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-QHOl-Qc4w&feature=relatedWhat I see in the pictures is what I have based my low opinion of this rally on.
The recent rally in Philadelphia IMHO was an embarrassment to the adoption reform movement. The pictures indicate there was lack of organization and no one with leadership skills overlooking the making of signs or how those in attendance were holding them. There should be ways that some of us can get legislators to realize that the group in Philly did not speak well for our cause.This has been one of the saddest events to occur during the more than 30 years that I've been an advocate for open records.
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