WHO COULD BE PAYING THE NCFA?

The February 2009 issue of the Adoption Advocate, a publication of the National Council For Adoption is detrimental and evil. I can picture someone stirring a pot just like the devil as they wrote this paper.

The NCFA is opposed to open records. But to publish a paper like this one makes me suspicious that they are profiting from it. Just who could be paying them? Adoptive parents or those who fear that some lies told will come out if eventually we would have all open states? Perhaps the NCFA just figures they can profit from this bunch of lies. After all fiction does sell well.

This paper is saying that The Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute’s report, For the Records: Restoring a Legal Right for Adult Adoptees is based on disproved assumptions and the misrepresentation of statistical data. It has to be considered more accurate than this piece of garbage put out by NCFA.

Let’s face it, if you were going to do a study on adults, wouldn’t you use adults for the study? It would be absurd to use adolescents unless there was a reason that you did not want the results accurate.

It is rather common today to hear about how different ones are profiting from taking advantage of people. For years adult adoptees have been the vulnerable and I consider this to be another attack.

We will survive but the silent adult adoptees and birth mothers definitely need to join in and speak out about this most outrageous paper.

FEARLESS ADOPTIVE FAMILIES

There seem to be some adoptive families who fear their grown child finding birth family members. We currently have among our Illinois legislators at least one adoptive parent that seems to be in this category. Is it right for someone like that to fight an open records bill to the point that they are very persuasive in getting followers to go along with their belief that records should remain closed? I personally don't think so. When a strong bond is formed between an adoptee and their parents, there is no need to fear that they will be placed on a back burner if the birth family is found. Anyone who does not have a strong relationship with their adoptee should not try to punish all adoptees. When the child was younger and did something that called for a spanking, did the parent spank all the children in the neighborhood or town of residence? I highly doubt it. It might not even be their son/daughter's fault that there is not a stronger bond between them.

To open records in Illinois would restore a civil right to adoptees. Obtaining an original birth certificate (OBC) does not necessarily lead one to the doorstep of their birth mother or her family. There are a few adoptees who choose to not search. Many do search and having an OBC could make a search easier. Then we have the reunited adoptees but still don't have their OBC. It most likely has no information on it that the reunited adoptee does not already know. The OBC would not exist if it had not been for their birth but yet it is denied to them by Illinois adoption laws.

We need to educate adoptive parents who fear having the records open in Illinois. I do know that some adoptive parents do fear what their grown child might find if they search for birth family. As a parent I do understand that because we always want what is best for our children. Different circumstances can lead to a baby/child being placed for adoption. Some hurtful things could be learned but that is why an adoptee should be as emotionally prepared as possible for the end result to possibly not be the best. Adoptive parents can be helpful with that. But to do everything possible to try to prevent a reunion from happening could just push the adoptee to proceed with haste.

I do hope that any adoptive parent who does not have a strong bond with their grown son/daughter will not take it out on all the other adoptees and fight open records. It certainly does not sound fair to me. And, it definitely needs to be remembered that open records is not about search and reunion. It is about restoring a civil right to adult adoptees.

CASH IN ON ADOPTEES

Back in 1976 when I began my own search, non-identifying information from Catholic Charities was free. In 1992 I became very curious as to if a medical problem was related to a growth that I was born with. I rechecked my non-id and confirmed that nothing was included regarding my health. Both my adoptive parents were deceased so I could not question them. So I contacted Catholic Charities and was told that there would be a $75 fee to give me the information. I was irate and quoted them the IL statute regarding medical records and said that I only needed to pay for the copying charges. The result was receiving an apologetic letter along with a copy of the records. But by 1992 searches had become more popular and agencies had started to cash in on adoptees' records being sealed.

But it is not just agencies doing this. Illinois has the ineffective Adoption Registry and Confidential Intermediary system. There are professional searchers and some are far from being professional. There are online databases preying upon the vulnerable. The list goes on.

So it does make one wonder why we still have closed records. To open them would put some people out of work. So those making money from closed records help to write bills to be sponsored that keep registries and CI systems intact. Others voice their opinion to keep records closed. Sorry about the long unemployment lines but a civil right needs to be restored to adult adoptees so they have access to their original birth certificate.

International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR)

I fear that there could be some searching who don't think that they have enough information to register with ISRR. Their website (www.isrr.net) does clearly state that a minimum of the year of birth, country, and state or province are necessary. I do believe that everyone should have that much information. An adoptee often does not know the names of their birth parents. A birth parent often does not know the adoptive name of their child. Although it is great to know that information it is not necessary in order to register with ISRR.

I do encourage everyone who is searching to register with ISRR. They have been trustworthy for a good many years and have made many matches. I do know for a fact that they continue to keep registration forms on file since they kept mine for 22 years. After my search was completed I notified Tony Vilardi who did return my form to me. ISRR was not able to make a match for me but they could for you.

As stated on their website, "ISRR is not affiliated with any other registry, organization or website.".

THE TRUTH

As many of us know it is next to impossible to conceal the truth about something forever. The IL adoption laws do hinder adult adoptees from learning the truth about their origins. Wouldn't it be great if legislators would become as honest and responsible as Abraham Lincoln.

A couple of blocks from where I live stands an old, gnarled pine tree bought by "Honest Abe". Abe was a lawyer who at one time practiced law in Urbana, IL. The legend is that one day the horse pulling his carriage knocked down a little tree so Abe paid to replace it. The pine tree that anyone can enjoy now is a testament to his generosity and responsibility.

Adoptees are not asking to be paid for a civil right that was taken from them when OBC's were sealed. They are asking that the civil right be restored. I'd be willing to bet that "Honest Abe" would have been supportive of this happening.

Please see Illinois Open for information on how to send Abe a "Happy 200th Birthday" card. His birthday is February 12th. A card might be hard to find at your favorite card shop but not too difficult to make.

ADULT Adoptees Have a Right to Their OBC

Our Santa letter writing campaign has received more media coverage. That is good because our goal was to raise public awareness and we are doing just that. However it sounds like I told a reporter with the State Journal-Register that we don't believe in adoptees having to be 21 to receive access to their OBC. I have left a comment on their website and will contact the reporter since this does need to be clarified. Misunderstandings do happen but the important thing is to clear them up.

Among the comments to this article at the State Journal-Register website is support for intermediaries. Some people are not aware of how bad the IL CI Program is but check out BastardGrannyAnnie and http://73adoptee.blogspot.com. These are not isolated cases but not everyone blogs.

Over the years I have conversed with many birth mothers who were never promised confidentiality. My personal feeling is that social workers started this old lie and perhaps adoption attorneys joined in. The majority of the birth mothers that I have been in contact with do want to be found. They would love for their offspring to have a copy of their OBC. It would not automatically lead them to their doorstep. It would restore a civil right to their offspring and if they so wished to search for them, it could make it easier to find them. From a young age I knew my birth mother's name because it was on the adoption decree that my mother let me look at. Later when I became older, she gave it to me. BUT it was a VERY common name and I was born in a very large city. A current address for a mother is not stated on an OBC. Some marry and some more than once. Some pass away.

It will soon be 13 years since my search was completed, my birth and adoptive parents are deceased but yet I am denied a copy of my OBC and all adoption records, other than the decree that my mother gave me. I've been reunited with siblings and other birth relatives. I would love for a legislator to justify as to why I am denied my OBC.

But the bottom line is that the necessity for having a clean bill sponsored by a legislator is that if it would become law, a civil right would be restored to ADULT adoptees. The bill might not pass the House or Senate the first time but a legislator can continue to sponsor a clean bill until it does become law.

HOW I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO HAVE SHOVED PAST HIM!

On Monday, December 29th we arrived in Springfield, IL early enough to have lunch before going to Vital Records to deliver the letters written to Santa. Lunch at a Bennigan's might have resulted in luck of the Irish! We pulled into the parking lot for the building where Vital Records is housed about 20 minutes prior to the scheduled time. My sister spotted a WICS TV van parked nearby so it was decided that the driver should be approached to see if he was there to cover the delivery of the letters. He was and asked if he could interview me while we were waiting until 1:00 to arrive.

I felt that the interview went well. The reporter did ask me a lot of questions. I did stress that adoptees have been robbed of a civil right to not be able to legally obtain a copy of their OBC and that there are birth parents and adoptive parents who agree. Obtaining one's OBC does not automatically lead them to their birth mother's doorstep. I told him about the old story about birth mothers not wanting to be found but the majority do want to be. I stressed that the fight for open records is not about search and reunion. It is about the civil right that should be restored to adult adoptees. It is about the dignity that has been taken from them. The reporter did ask why we don't feel that the IL adoption registry and CI Program are efficient. They are not a replacement and we need an open records law with no conditions.

When it came time to enter the building that houses the Vital Records department, I found that I had to tell a lady behind a window as to why I was there. She knew why but we had called ahead in order to have permission for the media to film the event. She asked that I step around to a locked door. A man met me at the door and took the bag of letters. I later wondered why he could not have stepped out into the outer entry area. Was he just not interested in talking to me, was he camera shy, or did he fear that if I got started talking, I might go on forever about OBC's being sealed? I do realize that in this day and age there are many locked doors because there is fear about what might happen otherwise. I sure would have loved to have shoved past this man and grabbed all the OBC's! But we all knew that I would not walk away from Vital Records with them in my hand. I was kind and gave the man a candy cane along with my personal card that does clearly state, "All adoptees should have their OBC, restore their civil rights".

Those who saw me out in the parking lot being interviewed by the TV news reporter had to have wondered what was going on. How many times four days after Christmas do you see an elf with a large gift bag in their hand being interviewed outside the Vital Records office. The wind caused the bell on my hat to just keep jingling! The look that one lady gave me made me wonder if she might have muttered all the way home! I was more of a site as I opened the door to the building because my elf hat blew off. I managed to catch it but did not try to put it back on while being filmed.

The news reporter said that WICS would cover the story and thought that FOX would too. My cable does not cover WICS and I missed seeing it on FOX since the reporter did tell me an earlier time than when it was aired. But after making some phone calls today I did learn that I can order a DVD so an order for one is going out in tomorrow's mail.

We had hoped to raise public awareness that adult adoptees can not legally obtain a copy of their OBC. I feel that we did succeed with that and the more who become aware of it, the better. I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of you who wrote letters. Each and every one did count! There were a total of 82 letters delivered. They were from people who live in 15 different states plus Canada.

We must continue to raise public awareness and come out in numbers until OBC's are legally obtainable everywhere!