ADOPTION SLOGAN I DO NOT LIKE

It would make me very happy for "Adoption Not Abortion" to be replaced with "God says: My Life is Precious".

I know that there is at least one adoptee who feels adoption and abortion gets rid of "the problem". It is one of the most absurd things I have ever read. I'm sure that many birth mothers would back me up by agreeing that a baby is not "a problem". For an unwed mother to become pregnant creates a predicament that must be dealt with. Sometimes even married women have a decision to make as to raise a baby or to plan relinquishment. But human life is just that and should not be categorized as "a problem".

In my own honest opinion I do not feel that adoption should ever be compared to abortion. Adoption provides a home for a child whereas abortion kills the fetus. A heartbeat is just days after conception so that is why I used the word "kills". Granted there are bitter adoptees in this world who might disagree with me and say that they were killed when placed in their adoptive home. But they are still breathing and surely are enjoying life in some ways.

Needless to say, I'm strictly against abortion. One time someone said it was because my birth mother could have had an abortion and I'd not be here. She is deceased so I can't ask her if she considered one but I'd bet on the answer being NO. My feeling is that the majority of birth mothers never even gave it thought because parting with the baby is not what they wanted. They or their parents felt it was the best thing to do for the child. I won't go into that subject since there are adoptees who say it is not in the best interest of the child. I strongly disagree with that too.

But I do hope that those who don't like "Adoption Not Abortion" will speak out as I am doing. Changes are never made unless we do speak out about what we don't believe in. Changes don't always happen but they definitely will not when people remain closed-mouthed.

NATIONAL ADOPTION AWARENESS MONTH

There is frequent mention over the Internet these days about placing children in adoptive homes.

Dave Thomas, the founder of Wendy's was always saying, "all children deserve a loving, permanent home". I do agree but it always seemed to me that Dave did not care about the children beyond that. It is like he never gave thought to the children becoming adults and being curious about their origins or possibly needing to know birth family medical history. Now that Dave is deceased his Foundation seems to be continuing on just as he. I found Dave to be pathetic and the same goes for his Foundation. Please don't take me as a person that does not think it important for children in foster care to be placed in homes. I strongly believe in it. But why can't those with money like Dave's Foundation be helpful with trying to get state laws changed so these children as adults will have access to their original birth certificate?

Awareness needs to be raised that in the majority of the states adopted adults are not treated like first-class citizens. Illinois is in this category. I would be willing to bet that there will be little to no media coverage about this anytime during November. Many are not aware that we adopted adults born in IL are denied access to our original birth certificate. It could be easier to pull a tooth from a wild animal than to get the news media to help with spreading the word.

Thirty years ago and perhaps longer than that the triad was referred to. The triad was adoptees, birth parents and adoptive parents. Some where along the way since then adoptees were misplaced. It seems that the only ones that might refer to the triad now are those who were familiar with the term long ago. The forgotten adoptee has become very common and many legislators see no need to change the adoption laws. But we can't give up with educating them. We must continue with the adoption reform movement.

Those searching who have not registered with International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR) should do so no matter how little information they might have. For more information please see their website at www.isrr.net. No other registry is affiliated with them. If you complete one of ISRR's registration forms that someone else has distributed, any donation should go directly to ISRR.

IN MEMORY OF MY BIRTH MOTHER

The search for my birth family took over 20 years and it was unfortunate that my birth mother died from breast cancer during that time. I would have loved to have gotten to know her. I do cherish hearing memories shared by my siblings and other family members.

So far I've been fortunate but a benign lumpectomy was quite scary and that was even before I knew my birth mother was deceased. I can't help but feel that taking Raloxifine for five years has been beneficial. I can not stress enough the importance of mammograms. Women at high risk should talk to their physician about prevention.

Susan G. Komen For The Cure is a great organization for learning more about breast cancer and how you might be of help in raising awareness.

A 69 YEAR OLD NEEDS DADDY'S PERMISSION

There have to be alot of emotions to deal with when at the age of 68 you learn that you were adopted as an infant. Did Rick's father "spill the beans" so that he might have closure from the long kept secret or did he forget that Rick did not know? It is hard to say when you consider his father is 100 years old.

Last January when Rick called me, I became determined to help him. He was not only a Chicago adoptee like myself but my heart went out to him to learn of his adoption at a late stage in his life. Anita Field and I are the co-founders of IL Open plus we are good friends. So we have been putting our heads together in order to try to help Rick.

Rick's petition to open his adoption records was denied. I was so angry when I learned of this because I felt that good cause was shown. I'll always suspect that Judge Patrick McGann (Cook Co.) did not even bother to read Rick's petition. Instead he probably instructed office personnel to get out one of the popular denial forms for him to sign. Otherwise I do believe the Judge would have ruled in favor of Rick having copies of his adoption documents.

Not long after receiving the denial Rick received a copy of his final decree of adoption with his birth name and that of his birth mother's whited out. Rick, his wife, Anita and I all four tried to determine the length of names that had been whited out. It was pretty much anyone's guess. Then while Anita was reviewing the IL adoption laws she discovered a provision where Rick's father could request the final decree of adoption since he was a petitioner. We wondered if white out would be used or not. But to pay a $9 fee to Cook County was definitely worth a try in case names would not be whited out. The letter did have to be notorized and a copy of Rick's father's ID enclosed. Thank the Lord he was able to sign the letter! It was not long at all when the decree arrived with no names whited out. Now Rick knows his name at birth and that of his birth mother's!

But isn't there something wrong with this picture? Rick is 69 years old and a veteran but yet he needed his daddy's permission to know his birth name and that of his birth mother's.

When will IL adoption laws provide for adopted adults to be treated like grown ups instead of little children? We must continue to fight for changes in the laws. Please don't leave it up to your neighbor to do. Everyone is needed and no matter how busy anyone is they can take time to contact legislators. On IL Open's website there are links leading to contact informaton for legislators. Here too is information about how to obtain your final decree of adoption if you are fortunate enough to have an adoptive parent still living. Don't delay with doing this because IL legislators are known for making changes to help prevent adopted adults from learning any identifying information about their birth mother.

EVERYONE IS NEEDED!

I've been around the Internet adoption community for years. I've always found it unfortunate that many who have been reunited will never be heard from again. Perhaps some think there is no need to stick around. But there is because the adoption reform movement could be a long ways from being completed.

Some do very little searching themselves and I find that unfortunate since it can help prepare for the reunion. Perhaps this group feel that they can not be of help to others searching. Perhaps they are not interested in if anyone else finds birth family. I've known adoptees who get what they want and could care less about others.

Reunions are an emotional roller coaster ride. Probably not just for the adoptee but for all involved. I do know first-hand what an overwhelming feeling it is to be reunited with birth family members. There are of course other feelings to deal with. When birth parents are found deceased as mine were, there are questions that are left unanswered. Although I've had family members share what they know they have not been able to answer all my questions.

For many years now I've been an advocate for open records and I sincerely hope that no medical problem will ever prevent me from continuing. Although I'm not nearly as involved with helping others search as I once was my work on earth is not completed as far as the adoption reform movement goes. It does not matter that I have my original birth certificate (OBC) and I've been reunited. I want all adoptees to have their OBC. I want those who want to be reunited with birth family. I'm not alone because there are many others fighting for the cause and some are like me in having their OBC and been reunited.

Some who have been reunited will suddenly disappear. So it is important to remind those searching to stick around. They might need a break to deal with so many emotions, perhaps to travel to meet birth family and time to get to know those they have been separated from. But it is important to get the message out that everyone is needed to fight for all adopted adults to have access to their OBC. Please do your part!

PRIOR TO THE ILLINOIS CONFIDENTIAL INTERMEDIARY SERVICE

It was 1976 when I started my own search for birth family. Searches were not as popular then as today. A petition asking a judge to open my records was not time consuming. I received a reply within a short time stating to make an appointment to resolve the matter in the judge's chambers. I was to bring along a photo ID plus a statement from my physician that there was a medical need. My adoptive mother accompanied me to the appointment. There was no more information in my file than I already knew. However there was a name jotted down on the outside of the file. To this day I don't know if that person was a social worker or someone else who had called to inquire about the status of my adoption. The judge leaned against the latter. My adoptive mother had never heard of the woman and I've never been able to track her down. Perhaps it was a fictitious name. Many of my birth family members had passed away by the time my search was completed so this name on the outside of my file will most likely always remain a mystery.

In 1990 the Illinois Confidential Intermediary service was started. It is a program of the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services, delivered by Midwest Adoption Center. I don't know when the website (www.ci-illinois.org) was last updated. It includes a chart for the past two years but just which two years? Anyway, the chart shows that 63% agreed to contact, 20% relative deceased, 10% declined participation and 4% not located. BUT it does not state on what number these percentages are based on. To anyone not thinking too clearly this chart looks good. But I'm sure that is how Midwest Adoption Center wants it. They are in business! They seem to be very active in promoting any bill sponsored by State Representative Sara Feigenholtz (D) 12th District. Yes, that district and the Midwest Adoption Center are in the Chicago area. It certainly raises questions in my mind!

How difficult is it for an IL adoptee to get a court order to open their file? It could be easier to get away from an alligator or whale. Just recently when an adoptee received a letter of denial from a Cook County judge, it was highly questionable if his petition was even read from start to end. It seems more likely that the judge glanced at it and then instructed his secretary to pull out a form letter referring the adoptee to the Confidential Intermediary service. There is no doubt in my mind about this particular adoptee showing good cause and his case is unique, no question about it.

It sure seems obvious to me that there are people in Illinois who have a vested interest in keeping the Confidential Intermediary service intact. It makes it difficult to get a clean bill sponsored and would make it even more difficult to get it passed into law.

What can we do about it? Educating the public and those in official capacities would not do any harm. In order for there to be change people must speak out. Please don't sit back and think there are individuals and organizations taking care of adoption reform. The more who are involved, the better. Please do your part and don't leave it up to someone else.

A civil right should be restored to IL adopted adults in that they should have access to their original birth certificate, just as those who have not been adopted do. Anything less is not acceptable. The Confidential Intermediary service MUST go and the sooner the better.

Philly Slideshow

In my previous post I failed to include a link for those who would like to see pictures:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-QHOl-Qc4w&feature=related

What I see in the pictures is what I have based my low opinion of this rally on.

PICTURES SPEAK A THOUSAND WORDS

The recent rally in Philadelphia IMHO was an embarrassment to the adoption reform movement. The pictures indicate there was lack of organization and no one with leadership skills overlooking the making of signs or how those in attendance were holding them. There should be ways that some of us can get legislators to realize that the group in Philly did not speak well for our cause.

This has been one of the saddest events to occur during the more than 30 years that I've been an advocate for open records.

IN LOVING MEMORY OF A BIRTH SISTER

On May 10, 1997 when I first met Joann and three other birth siblings, my son and I were welcomed into their lives with open, warm & loving arms. It was almost like we had always known each other except the questions that flowed back and forth between the birth siblings, my son and I did indicate differently. Similarities were shared among us and the family physical resemblance was remarkable between us plus the pictures that they had brought along to show Eric and I.

On June 6, 2009 I said goodbye to Joann after her passing away suddenly and unexpectedly three days earlier. On July 11 when a memorial service is held, I will say goodbye once again.

Life is short but to only know Joann for such a short time has resulted in additional emotions for me to deal with along with grieving the loss of her. I hold no hard feelings toward our mother for placing me for adoption. Although she was deceased when the family was found and I could not ask her the reason, I do feel she did what she felt was best. I received a good home just as I’m sure she wanted.

To have known Joann for 12 years was a true blessing. It did not take me long to realize that she was bubbly with laughter and really enjoyed having fun. One of the sentences on her memorial card is, “I’d like to leave an after glow of smiles when life is done.” She certainly did that as different ones remembered her. Although we were experiencing a sad occasion there was a lot of laughter just as I’m sure that Joann would have wanted. I know that all of us will smile when we often think of her from now on.

Joann was only part of my life for a short time. But she helped to fill the void within me as only another adoptee can relate to. She did it in a very loving way. Each time I was around her I did enjoy some laughs too. Thank you Joann and goodbye until we meet again some day!

ADOPTION IS AVAILABLE

It was bad enough that President Barrack Obama delivered the 2009 commencement speech at the University of Notre Dame. But then the Notre Dame President Rev. John Jenkins said that we should all work together to make adoption more available.

I've been Catholic all my life and for a long time I've been a Notre Dame fan. In my honest opinion President Obama who supports abortion rights should never have been invited to speak and then to receive an honorary degree was a second mistake. He is entitled to his rights just as I am to mine. There will always be people on this earth with differing views.

Was Rev. John Jenkins justifying President Obama delivering the commencement speech by saying that we should all work together to make adoption more available? Certainly he must be aware of all the adoption options in America. Agencies have been around for unwed mothers to turn to for over 60 years that I know of. Today some unwed mothers are monetary profiting quite nicely from making arrangements for their unborn to be adopted.

Adoption is available and it seems to me that those who are not aware of it must not want to be. We adoptees are not bad people even though we are often labeled "troublemakers" for fighting for a civil right to be restored to all adopted adults so that they can have access to their original birth certificate.

FABRICATORS AMONG US

For several years now there have been deceitful adoptees among the Internet adoption community. Several years ago I remember when one pretended to be helping other adoptees subscribed to a mailing list when she was in fact working for a well known company who has financially ripped off many people.

Just how new it is for an adoptee to lie about what state they were born or adopted in I don't know. I do understand when an adoptee pretends to live in a certain state when they are trying to get a legislator to listen to them.

But to lie to other adoptees to try to gain leadership over them does not set well with me. One lie can lead to another and we don't know what all they might be up to. We can't be certain if they really are for a clean bill or if maybe their motive is to cause harm to adoption reform in that particular state. We do know there are those among the adoption industry cashing in on closed records. So have these fabricators joined in with them while pretending to be a great advocate for open records?

I know one thing for certain and that is Illinois has giant RAT traps. But until a suspected RAT gets caught be certain and ask questions because often liars do give themselves away. Human RATS have long noses and have a tendency to be bossy and sarcastic when things are not going just the way they want. Bait your trap and get rid of the RATS! There are plenty of us that do want all adopted adults to have access to their OBC - you don't have to feel alone after the RATS are gone.

NO CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION

I find it so hard to believe that there are supporters of CA AB 372. I question if it is a strong case of stupidity or if they are seeing $ signs before their eyes if this bill would become law. I realize that some of these supporters believe that baby steps are sometimes necessary to achieve success. But they are not stopping to think about the states who have taken baby steps and now how hard advocates are fighting to get open records in those states. It is not just CI programs that are intact in some states that make legislators think that the state is up to date with adoption reform. If anything is in place that makes legislators think this, they can focus on other issues and fight any clean bill that is sponsored.

Some think that if a few adoptees are helped, that is better than none. No, it is not because all should be treated equally. Let's say there are two adoptees in one family. One gets their OBC and the other can not. Think about the feelings that will develop between these two and how the adoptive parents will feel about their children not being treated equally. This could happen with two adoptees who are close friends too or two cousins who were adopted... Will all the CA adoptees who support this horrible bill have access to their OBC? Chances are not all of them will. Then how many years will it take for adoption legislation to be changed for the better in CA? Will the supporters live long enough to see it happen or will it ever happen?

The chances of this bill being fixed are very slim. Supporters need to wake up and smell the roses in the states who do have open records. This bill MUST be defeated and the sooner the better. There are those who will argue that we all must unite to get records open. Well many of us have done so and we ask that you please join us and not support a bill that does not treat ALL adoptees equally. The adoption reform movement must move forward and not backward.

BABY STEPS

Once in a while I hear how some think it is just fine to take baby steps to change adoption laws. I cringe every time because I consider it a big mistake. It is not an easy task to change any law and adoption reform is certainly not a popular subject among those who are opposed to open records.

Illinois currently has an ineffective Registry and horror stories have resulted from the CI program. But yet in the eyes of many legislators adoption reform is at its best. In 2008 the belief among some was that if records were open to some adopted adults but not all that would be a step toward Illinois becoming an open records state. I don't recall hearing if any of these believers gave thought to how many years it might take before ALL adopted adults would have access to their OBC.

I'm not talking about just legislators. It is shocking how many adoptees who claim to be adovates for open records go right along with baby steps being taken. Just how many are monetary gaining from closed records is a number that we will never know.

Sadly it is not uncommon for an adoptee to be against open records. Some are profiting too much from closed records. There are some who don't care if they ever see their OBC so they speak out against anyone having access. My belief is that all these people should be tarred and feathered.

The next time someone mentions taking adoption reform in baby steps please ask them why they are so against Illinois becoming an open records state as soon as possible.

ILLEGITIMACY

Many placed for adoption are considered to be illegitimate. Different circumstances lead to a woman and man not being married at the time of the birth. But it is the innocent child that carries this label and a stigma is established. Later on when an amended birth certificate is issued, the child becomes legitimate because the record is falsified to say that the adoptive mother was the one to give birth. The result is secrecy. Just how will it later be interpreted?

Just recently I followed a thread on a genealogical mailing list about the illegitimate members on family trees. My first thought was how people don’t let this stigma rest even when say a person placed on a branch is 80 years old. But my being an adoptee of course reminded me that the disgrace that was no fault of ours is never forgotten.

I'm researching both my birth and adoptive family histories. I always make a notation that some of us were adopted because I am one that believes in accuracy no matter what project I'm working on. I'm not ashamed that I was placed for adoption and I don't feel that the others should be. Nor do I feel that anyone should think less of the deceased who were adopted. But we adoptees walk in different shoes than others.

But I do believe and know that at least some other genealogists agree with me that those who think that an adopted person does not belong on a family tree do need an attitude adjustment. While following this thread on the genealogical list it was not those tracing their family trees that dwelled on the not forgotten disgrace. It was family members who showed no interest in the adopted as if they are not family members.

Many brides are pregnant while they are standing at the altar. But because they marry prior to the birth of the child there is no illegitimacy. It is what the parents do before the birth that determines if a stigma will be established. But the child is labeled and it seems that there is something wrong with that picture.

It's a sad world when there are so many worse things happening that not all can overlook the stigma of adoption. But it will never happen because some people dwell upon talking about disgrace. I think most of we adoptees live with a wound that we were left behind but yet we move forward with our lives. Being illegitimate does not stop a person from becoming a great person. I think that there is probably a skeleton in every family's closet. Not every one wants to know about it and turning their head is the way some will deal with the information. Sometimes knowing the details as to why something happened could make people more understanding. Blocking the event from their mind is easier and they can continue to portray that they come from a perfect family.

WHO COULD BE PAYING THE NCFA?

The February 2009 issue of the Adoption Advocate, a publication of the National Council For Adoption is detrimental and evil. I can picture someone stirring a pot just like the devil as they wrote this paper.

The NCFA is opposed to open records. But to publish a paper like this one makes me suspicious that they are profiting from it. Just who could be paying them? Adoptive parents or those who fear that some lies told will come out if eventually we would have all open states? Perhaps the NCFA just figures they can profit from this bunch of lies. After all fiction does sell well.

This paper is saying that The Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute’s report, For the Records: Restoring a Legal Right for Adult Adoptees is based on disproved assumptions and the misrepresentation of statistical data. It has to be considered more accurate than this piece of garbage put out by NCFA.

Let’s face it, if you were going to do a study on adults, wouldn’t you use adults for the study? It would be absurd to use adolescents unless there was a reason that you did not want the results accurate.

It is rather common today to hear about how different ones are profiting from taking advantage of people. For years adult adoptees have been the vulnerable and I consider this to be another attack.

We will survive but the silent adult adoptees and birth mothers definitely need to join in and speak out about this most outrageous paper.

FEARLESS ADOPTIVE FAMILIES

There seem to be some adoptive families who fear their grown child finding birth family members. We currently have among our Illinois legislators at least one adoptive parent that seems to be in this category. Is it right for someone like that to fight an open records bill to the point that they are very persuasive in getting followers to go along with their belief that records should remain closed? I personally don't think so. When a strong bond is formed between an adoptee and their parents, there is no need to fear that they will be placed on a back burner if the birth family is found. Anyone who does not have a strong relationship with their adoptee should not try to punish all adoptees. When the child was younger and did something that called for a spanking, did the parent spank all the children in the neighborhood or town of residence? I highly doubt it. It might not even be their son/daughter's fault that there is not a stronger bond between them.

To open records in Illinois would restore a civil right to adoptees. Obtaining an original birth certificate (OBC) does not necessarily lead one to the doorstep of their birth mother or her family. There are a few adoptees who choose to not search. Many do search and having an OBC could make a search easier. Then we have the reunited adoptees but still don't have their OBC. It most likely has no information on it that the reunited adoptee does not already know. The OBC would not exist if it had not been for their birth but yet it is denied to them by Illinois adoption laws.

We need to educate adoptive parents who fear having the records open in Illinois. I do know that some adoptive parents do fear what their grown child might find if they search for birth family. As a parent I do understand that because we always want what is best for our children. Different circumstances can lead to a baby/child being placed for adoption. Some hurtful things could be learned but that is why an adoptee should be as emotionally prepared as possible for the end result to possibly not be the best. Adoptive parents can be helpful with that. But to do everything possible to try to prevent a reunion from happening could just push the adoptee to proceed with haste.

I do hope that any adoptive parent who does not have a strong bond with their grown son/daughter will not take it out on all the other adoptees and fight open records. It certainly does not sound fair to me. And, it definitely needs to be remembered that open records is not about search and reunion. It is about restoring a civil right to adult adoptees.

CASH IN ON ADOPTEES

Back in 1976 when I began my own search, non-identifying information from Catholic Charities was free. In 1992 I became very curious as to if a medical problem was related to a growth that I was born with. I rechecked my non-id and confirmed that nothing was included regarding my health. Both my adoptive parents were deceased so I could not question them. So I contacted Catholic Charities and was told that there would be a $75 fee to give me the information. I was irate and quoted them the IL statute regarding medical records and said that I only needed to pay for the copying charges. The result was receiving an apologetic letter along with a copy of the records. But by 1992 searches had become more popular and agencies had started to cash in on adoptees' records being sealed.

But it is not just agencies doing this. Illinois has the ineffective Adoption Registry and Confidential Intermediary system. There are professional searchers and some are far from being professional. There are online databases preying upon the vulnerable. The list goes on.

So it does make one wonder why we still have closed records. To open them would put some people out of work. So those making money from closed records help to write bills to be sponsored that keep registries and CI systems intact. Others voice their opinion to keep records closed. Sorry about the long unemployment lines but a civil right needs to be restored to adult adoptees so they have access to their original birth certificate.

International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR)

I fear that there could be some searching who don't think that they have enough information to register with ISRR. Their website (www.isrr.net) does clearly state that a minimum of the year of birth, country, and state or province are necessary. I do believe that everyone should have that much information. An adoptee often does not know the names of their birth parents. A birth parent often does not know the adoptive name of their child. Although it is great to know that information it is not necessary in order to register with ISRR.

I do encourage everyone who is searching to register with ISRR. They have been trustworthy for a good many years and have made many matches. I do know for a fact that they continue to keep registration forms on file since they kept mine for 22 years. After my search was completed I notified Tony Vilardi who did return my form to me. ISRR was not able to make a match for me but they could for you.

As stated on their website, "ISRR is not affiliated with any other registry, organization or website.".

THE TRUTH

As many of us know it is next to impossible to conceal the truth about something forever. The IL adoption laws do hinder adult adoptees from learning the truth about their origins. Wouldn't it be great if legislators would become as honest and responsible as Abraham Lincoln.

A couple of blocks from where I live stands an old, gnarled pine tree bought by "Honest Abe". Abe was a lawyer who at one time practiced law in Urbana, IL. The legend is that one day the horse pulling his carriage knocked down a little tree so Abe paid to replace it. The pine tree that anyone can enjoy now is a testament to his generosity and responsibility.

Adoptees are not asking to be paid for a civil right that was taken from them when OBC's were sealed. They are asking that the civil right be restored. I'd be willing to bet that "Honest Abe" would have been supportive of this happening.

Please see Illinois Open for information on how to send Abe a "Happy 200th Birthday" card. His birthday is February 12th. A card might be hard to find at your favorite card shop but not too difficult to make.

ADULT Adoptees Have a Right to Their OBC

Our Santa letter writing campaign has received more media coverage. That is good because our goal was to raise public awareness and we are doing just that. However it sounds like I told a reporter with the State Journal-Register that we don't believe in adoptees having to be 21 to receive access to their OBC. I have left a comment on their website and will contact the reporter since this does need to be clarified. Misunderstandings do happen but the important thing is to clear them up.

Among the comments to this article at the State Journal-Register website is support for intermediaries. Some people are not aware of how bad the IL CI Program is but check out BastardGrannyAnnie and http://73adoptee.blogspot.com. These are not isolated cases but not everyone blogs.

Over the years I have conversed with many birth mothers who were never promised confidentiality. My personal feeling is that social workers started this old lie and perhaps adoption attorneys joined in. The majority of the birth mothers that I have been in contact with do want to be found. They would love for their offspring to have a copy of their OBC. It would not automatically lead them to their doorstep. It would restore a civil right to their offspring and if they so wished to search for them, it could make it easier to find them. From a young age I knew my birth mother's name because it was on the adoption decree that my mother let me look at. Later when I became older, she gave it to me. BUT it was a VERY common name and I was born in a very large city. A current address for a mother is not stated on an OBC. Some marry and some more than once. Some pass away.

It will soon be 13 years since my search was completed, my birth and adoptive parents are deceased but yet I am denied a copy of my OBC and all adoption records, other than the decree that my mother gave me. I've been reunited with siblings and other birth relatives. I would love for a legislator to justify as to why I am denied my OBC.

But the bottom line is that the necessity for having a clean bill sponsored by a legislator is that if it would become law, a civil right would be restored to ADULT adoptees. The bill might not pass the House or Senate the first time but a legislator can continue to sponsor a clean bill until it does become law.