Some News Reporters Don't Want to Publicize the Truth

Recently Nicole Dungca, a staff writer for The Times-Picayune (New Orleans) publicized a statement that was not the truth. I realize that news reporters do publicize what they hear. But included in "Protestors Seek to Change Laws Sealing Birth Papers" Rodney Huey, a spokesman for the National Council for Adoption said that birth mothers were guaranteed confidentiality. I wrote to Ms. Dungca to let her know that Mr. Huey is way out on left field and urged her to publicize the truth. The truth is that birth mothers were not guaranteed confidentiality and many are looking for their offspring and want to be found. I personally feel this lie about being guaranteed confidentiality was a lie started by social workers, enforced by adoption attorneys, and followed up by lawmakers using it as an excuse as to why records should not be opened.

Anyway, Ms. Dungca did reply to me. "Thank you for writing. A number of people have written me to share their views on this, and though we do not think it merits a correction, I do appreciate the feedback and the interesting thoughts you have put forth."

It makes you think that a spokesman for the National Council for Adoption carries more weight than the truth. Those personally touched by adoption and especially those of us who have been in touch with other triad members for many years do know more than Mr. Huey.

Ms. Dungca should hang her head in shame for not printing a correction. Lies being publicized can do harm to the adoption reform movement. Those doing harm to it should have disrupted sleep and an unsettling feeling during the day to know that many loved ones have been separated from each other for many years. Adoptees have been robbed of their civil rights.

Those Who Support Open Records

I invite all of you to read Joan Griffis:Illinois Ancestors column published in the News-Gazette on July 18, 2008. It is not online but I have scanned the column and uploaded it to my website at http://familyandfriends.homestead.com (in the navigation bar, click "In The News"). I've not done this to draw attention to myself but to Joan for being supportive toward publicizing part of my letter to her and showing support for open records in Illinois.

We often read in newspapers about other advocate groups for different causes but the news media fails to cover open records like they should. In fact, we don't often read too much about a bill that has been introduced into the house of representatives. This prevents many from even knowing what is going on in the legislative world regarding open records. It makes it hard for opponents to horrible provisions like there are in HB 4623 have an opportunity to even speak out.

I encourage all of you to continue to write to those who have a column in a newspaper and to editors of newspapers. We must educate the public and in turn maybe legislators will listen to the truth instead of being persuaded by legislators like Sara Feigenholtz that the civil right does not need to be restored to all adoptees.

ISRR - THE Registry

International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR) was founded in 1975 by Emma May Vilardi. People should not be taken in by anyone saying that their registry is affiliated with ISRR because none are. ISRR's website is www.isrr.net. Recently I learned that they do have a new physical address: P.O. Box 371179, Las Vegas, NV 89137.

I personally do not recommend any other registry because there are some run by someone with a motive and that is to get your personal information. With that they will start searching for the person you are seeking and it can sometimes lead to only taking money from you and heartache.

Put your trust into ISRR and your information will be kept confidential. They are not going to rip you off for money or be insensitive to your feelings. Always keep your information with ISRR up to date so you can be contacted if there would be a match.

Illinois' Adoption Registry is Pathetic

Recently I visited the Illinois Department of Public Health's website and it reinforced my belief that the Adoption Registry is ineffective.

In July 2008 statistics were posted. Since the Registry was enacted on 1/1/85 there had been 10,534 registrants. The majority were adoptees (7,017) and birth mothers(2,487). Only 678 matches had been made from the 10,534 registrants. Not even 40 people a year are benefiting from this Registry. BUT it costs $40 to register so over $400,000 has been taken in.

Some might argue that since 1985 that 678 matches have been made so the Registry is worthwhile to have. BUT for a legislator to introduce a good bill that would become law many more than 678 could be helped within a year. All adoptees who wish could request and obtain their OBC. An OBC would not necessarily lead one to their birth mother's doorstep. But it would definitely speed up some searches and there are birth mothers waiting out there to be found.

Most important of all it would restore a right to adoptees that should never have been taken from them. They would be treated like all the non-adoptees who just take it for granted that they can request and receive their OBC any time they wish.

What Illinois State Representative will step up and restore this right to adoptees? Please come forward now!

Take Me Out to The Ballgame

Our infamous IL State Representative Sara Feigenholtz never bothered to respond to many concerns about HB 4623. But yet she/her staff spammed many who never received a reply - to invite them to a Chicago Cubs game. It seems to me that e-mail addresses were collected with the intent that she might gain more contributors. It certainly does not seem that someone is the brightest crayon in the box, does it? I've heard the excuse that it was a technical problem. Sorry, I've been using a computer and been subscribed to Internet mailing lists for too many years to believe it. What I truely believe is that Feigenholtz "Feign" could care less what triad members have to say against HB 4623. She only cares about those who are profiting from the CI Program so wants to keep it intact. She only cares about those who have something to hide so are opposed to a true open records bill in Illinois. Her website URL was misspelled but "Feign" does describe her well.

My personal reply to "Feign":

"You don't seem to be at all interested in replying to those among the adoption community about their concerns with HB 4623 as it was originally written. But yet you have extended an invitation to some of these same people to attend a Cubs game with you. You are unbelievable and not a person that I would even cross the street with, let alone attend a Cubs game with."

Go Cubs and bat "Feign" right out of Wrigley Field and into a different occupation. She is a disgrace to the IL House of Representatives.

A Confidential Intermediary?

As some legislators in IL uphold the Confidential Intermediary (CI) program I often mutter to myself as to how much help they would have been to me. A kind sympathetic judge opened my court file to me during the early years of my search because my M.D. felt it might help to learn my origins. There was no more information in it than what was on my adoption decree. So I know for a fact that my court records would not have led a CI to my birth mother. My birth mother's given name and surname is so common and her middle initial was not on the adoption decree. Maybe Catholic Charities would have given a CI my birth mother's birthdate but I suspect they would not have. I can't imagine Catholic Charities' social workers being too cooperative about providing identifying information to a CI. I suspect a CI would have taken money from me and then said, "sorry, your birth mother's name is just so common that it is impossible to complete your search". I recall too well how a professional searcher who I consulted finding it hilarious that I would pursue a search for a woman with such a common name and not even knowing her middle initial. A CI might not have laughed but completing my search, I highly doubt it. It was a search that required alot of digging, grasping, and going with my gut feeling. A CI would not have done that.

I feel blessed that I never went through the IL CI program. The stories that I've heard about them are not good. They seem to have no regard for the feelings of the adoptee. They don't represent the adoptee in a capable manner.

One has to wonder too how many birth mothers who refused contact might not have if it had been their son or daughter contacting them instead of a cold CI. Some birth mothers need some time to adjust to the shock of being found and some need time to think about how they will tell family members about their long kept secret. For an adoptee to contact their birth mother an agreement can be reached that the birth mother will return their call at a later time but the door is not shut forever like it can be with a CI calling the birth mother. But I have found that the majority of birth mothers do want to be found. They want records opened so their offspring can find them. Some have been looking to no avail but then an adoptee's entire name is often changed by the adoptive parents.

So let's do away with the IL CI program - it is past time for records to be opened in IL.

Confidentiality allows people to play God

Lawyers and agencies have dominated adoption for a good many years now in the majority of the states. Was it started to protect adoptees from the stigma of illegitimacy? If so, their efforts have failed because many adoptees will always be referred to as illegitimate. Of course, we are not to know that our original birth certificates (OBC) refer to us as being illegimate. The majority of the states don't allow adoptees to have their OBC.

Did lawyers and agencies decide to dominate adoption to hide the stigma of birth mothers? Sealed records would guarantee her privacy. Did the lawyers and agencies really care enough about the birth mothers to feel that they needed to be protected by confidentiality or did the lawyers and agencies want to be protected?

Dominating adoption gives lawyers and agencies control over the lives of others. It gives them the power to play God.

No one should be allowed to play God. It is past time for legislators in those states with sealed records yet to change the adoption law so adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents are treated like adults and are in control of their own lives.